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 As a step mom, you never, ever have the right to express yourself about how the bio-mom treats the kid. As much as you hate what you, there is nothing that you can do about it, nor can you discuss it in this forum. Why? Because you always be seen as a bitter 2nd wife who is trying to interfere in the lives of the "family" that your husband had before he married you. You be seen as jealous and greedy. Just and ignore those words. Only nasty 1st wives that are insecure and that are bitter about their own lives talk to you like that. It isn't all 1st wives, but the vocal ones that look at you that way without knowing the whole situation talk to you like that. It is just that they are dealing with their own shit, and need to take out their feelings of inadequacy, bitterness, hatred and insecurity their inadequacies on someone. A 2nd wife is the easiest target for their misdirected anger about their own situations, because you have what they lost or what walked out on them or what they don't have. It doesn't matter that your husband didn't the scum-bag-skank before he married you. You always be seen as the one that is interfering in their lives. It doesn't matter that the bio-mom neglects the kid's healthcare needs. It doesn't matter that the bio-mom terminates medical therapy without informing the healthcare provider. It doesn't matter that the bio-mom didn't tell your husband about the kid until weeks after the kid was born. It doesn't matter that the bio-mom might not have known that the kid was your husband's or if some other poor slob that she opened her legs for was the father of the kid. All you can do is watch the drama, and feel bad for the kid and your husband. You don't need to feel bad for the bio-mom because she got herself into this situation. Your husband has joint custody, so he can make decisions and take care of the the way that the kid deserves. He needs to keep the bio-mom informed about what is going on, but if she doesn't want to participate, then that is her issue. Your husband needs to document her behavior. If you feel that you need something tangible to do, help with the documentation. If you want to "talk" about this situation, please feel free to drop me an e-mail.
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